Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
