I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
