This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
