Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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