She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
