good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
