If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
