I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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