It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
