I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
