i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
