The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
