I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
