Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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