tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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