He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
