why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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