TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
