now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
