I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Im part way to drunk.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
