I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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