CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My vagina is officially offended.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
