i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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