He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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