so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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