Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
