69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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