I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
