I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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