I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
