I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
