OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
