I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
