I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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