Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
