I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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