She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize