What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
