last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
