i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
