I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
