spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I am one with the molecules
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
