shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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