Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
