and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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