I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
