Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
