ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
