I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
