I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
