I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
