drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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