i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
