Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
