why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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