You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
someone threw a dead crab at me
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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